I know not

Essential takeaway: What do I know?

What do you want to be when you grow up? I have been thinking about my children and the paths that they are on. After deciding my adult children had their own agency to chart their way in this world, I started to wonder about myself. Because lets be real, I’m the only one I can really change or improve any way. What do I want to be when I grow up? Am I having a midlife crisis? I have been struggling for a year now really wondering what my purpose is. What does God want me to do? What does He have planned for me? I can not tell you the depths of anguish these questions have caused me. The other day, I was reminded of a scripture. Moses 5:6 “And after many days an angel of the Lord appeared unto Adam, saying: Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me.”

I believe I received some personal revelation. However, I did not receive the specific answer I was looking for. First, note the phrase ‘after many days’. It takes time. Often the Lord does not respond instantly. He leaves us to really want something. He gives us time to really ponder and think through what we are asking. Second, consider Adams answer: “I know not, save the Lord commanded me.”  My answer was, at this time I do not know what the Lord wants me to do or change. However, He has commanded me to do a few things. Until I get the answers I seek, I will do what I do know. I will focus on scripture study, attending the temple, preparing for a new school year, fulfill my church calling the best way I know how, and have faith. I don’t know everything I want to know, but I do know I need to keep my commandments. I need to focus on my covenants. The Lord will give the answers in His time.

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